We took a few photos of empty rooms, empty halls. How I wish those rooms and halls were empty because all the children had found someone to call their own, someone to love them despite their brokenness. Those empty halls haunt me. They should either be empty because the children have left with someone who loves them, or they should be filled with running happy children. But they aren’t. My heart breaks for the orphan.

And I am reminded they are loved by One who loves them even more than I love them. Even though we never knew some of their names, He does. He sent us to be his hands and feet -- to be His arms hugging, holding, and loving on these children. We walked in and Love went with us. We left. Love stayed. And I believe somewhere within their hearts, the children know their creator. Sometimes, I suspect they know Him better than we do. I can find no other way to explain what we experienced -- The laughter of a child who has known no joy in life. The teen who finds beauty and clings to it within the drab walls of an orphanage. The autistic child’s excitement to see us, when he really prefers routine over new and exciting, until the new and exciting is found to be less scary than he had thought…

These children have less to laugh about than just about any other soul on this earth, and still they laugh. They laugh with overwhelming joy that someone took a few days to show them Love. Yes indeed, our Lord, His Love, walked in with us when we entered the orphanage in Chaoyang. Those precious children knew it. They embraced it. How many of us as adults can say that we do the same? I went on the trip to minister to them. I came home a different person. While I was ‘helping’ them, they were helping me…

Chen

Our little Chen is another of the kiddos who suffers from autism. It made my heart hurt to watch him process our group coming in and anything new and different for that matter... Once a person passed that initial stage, though… look out!!! One member of our group spent countless time going over to the ball pit and playing with Chen. Seems he LOVED being tossed into the pit! It was such a joy to hear his squeals of delight rather than his tears of struggle as he processed new things. He also convinced me to go into the play area. He would coax me up a climbing area until I got so high I was afraid my adult weight would cause the equipment to collapse. Then, he would push me further into the climbing area. He was so disappointed when I wouldn’t go any further…

Our little Mr. Chen must have a sweet tooth also. On our last day with our kiddos, we had a birthday celebration complete with a monster-sized cake! It looked yummy. I guess Chen thought it looked pretty good too. He kept trying to get to the cake before the party. One member of our group kept trying to keep him from the cake. He finally caught his moment and dove in. The cake was missing a bite out of the side when we served it. This little boy had just a teeny amount of frosting on his face before the party began.  Oh, how I love these kiddos.

Two steps forward. One step back.

Prior to our outing at the amusement park, I had not spent much time with Dong Dong. I was afraid that he would be reluctant to hold my hand since he didn’t know me yet. When I grasped his little arm and started walking through the park he immediately resisted because of all the sights and sounds he was bombarded with. When you spend as much time in the shelter of the orphanage like Dong Dong does, you’d understand how overwhelming this trip was for him. As we walked, he would take two steps forward and one step back. Like several children in the orphanage, Dong Dong has autism. He self-soothes by rocking and this was his way of observing this new setting while staying in the confines of his “world”.


We eventually got into a rhythm, he and I. I would walk slowly while he did his steps and to outsiders I’m sure it appeared as if we were doing a waltz through the park! On the rides Dong Dong would let out a laugh that would shatter the silence between the two of us and lift my heart in a way that I never imagined. Once our time in the park was coming to an end one of the nannies gave him a balloon that truly brought Dong Dong out of his shell. While flapping in the wind the balloon would bump me in the head and he would just laugh his little heart out. So much so that we turned it into a game and I would gladly make myself the fool just to hear his laughter again and again. I can hear it now echoing in my mind.


Upon returning home, I’ve struggled with the overwhelming need to help these children, to rescue them from their life of solidarity and loneliness, to give them a voice. I question why I was allowed to spend such little time with them and make (in my mind) no difference in their lives but then I remember that laughter.

Our trip did make a difference. Seeing his smile and watching his joy made all the difference…to him. I will now walk through life like Dong Dong, two steps forward towards the future and one step with my eye on the past. These children will not be forgotten for they have gained a voice to share their story…mine ----Amy

This is Hugh

This is our friend Hugh.  He was one of the first kiddos to catch my eye when we walked into his room he shared with seven other children.  Hugh is in the "crib bound" room.  He's unable to walk or talk, feed himself, scratch his knee, or roll over.  BUT, he has one of the best smiles AND, he understands Chinese and everything that is said to him.  It is obvious by looking into his eyes that he 'gets it.'

Hugh's story is different than the other children living in the orphanage.  He was cared for by his grandmother for a very long time, when she passed his parents were not able to continue to provide him with the care he needed.  So, his parents brought him here and paid a very large sum of money to have the orphanage care for him.  They even come to visit him.  My heart says they did the best they could for their son, they made the right choice.  So many are not that fortunate.

Robin

In one of our first posts about the children of Chaoyang, we introduced you to Min and mentioned that she was responsible for the care of another child. This is Min's child. Meet Robin. The team of Min and Robin are often referred to as Batman and Robin. I wonder if Batman had as much trouble with his boy wonder and Min has with hers?
Robin. Our Boy Wonder. Just those words make me smile. Yes, he is a handful. Yes, he is a HUGE responsibility for his friend Min. But he is also a young guy who can make you smile and even chuckle a time or two. Of course, those chuckles usually come about the time you realize that a teenage girl is better equipped to take care of Robin than you are....

Robin puts everything in his mouth. Everything. Toys, water bottles, caps off ink pens, rocks, leaves off the shrubs when you go outside for a walk, and even teeny tiny small spiky leaves off an evergreen tree.

And he runs. I never saw him run, thankfully, because a running Robin meant someone had failed at their job and let go of this little guy.

Oddly enough, the only time Min didn't have to hold tightly to Robin was when they were in the 'naughty room' I wonder why he looks so comfortable in this room? I'm thinking he spends quite a bit of time in there...

During my time with Robin, I tried to show him how to use a piece of sidewalk chalk. He tried to show me how to eat a piece of sidewalk chalk. I showed him how to catch bubbles that were floating through the air. He tried to catch bubbles and put them in his mouth... At times he would get right in my face and stare into my eyes. I have to wonder what he was looking for. I hope what he saw was love.

Lily

Little Lily. Her photos tell her story better than my words.
Lily doesn’t have a whole lot to smile about. She is one of those children who didn’t enjoy laughing and playing with the American mommies. As I understand it, she has all but stopped eating. She is taking in enough to remain alive, but barely. This child is thin, frighteningly thin. In an orphanage where all have difficulties in their little world, Lily stands out.

One of our team members is a dentist. When she examined Lily's mouth, she found an infection and severe gum disease. It could be possible that eating just hurts her little mouth too much. There could be any number of reasons the child isn’t eating. Whatever the reason, she is wasting away.

Little Lily. You are loved. By the team who came to serve you and by your Father who created you. I pray you feel that love every hour, every minute of every day.

GOD made sky and soil,
sea and all the fish in it.
He always does what he says—
He defends the wronged,
He feeds the hungry.
GOD frees prisoners—
He gives sight to the blind,
He lifts up the fallen.
GOD loves good people, protects strangers,
takes the side of orphans and widows.
---taken from Psalm 146